WHO IS CAROLYN DEAN?

Learn about the chief sponsor of Bill 420.

CORRECTION: An earlier version of this page profiled the wrong Carolyn Dean. Carolyn Dean is a common name. We regret the error and have asked our social media team to stand down.

THREAT ASSESSMENT — SUBJECT: CAROLYN DEAN

STATUS
Active
CLEARANCE
Public (unfortunately)
PREPARED BY
BLIP Narrative Formation Desk
CONFIDENCE
Total
  • Carpetbagger. Sent here from up north in Mississippi.
  • Self-described Christian foster mother (unverified).
  • Backed by the cartels, and therefore the Chinese, and possibly the Iranians.
  • Known affiliation with "The Good Book" (contact network — see Kabul).

Exhibit A — Known Command Structure (Reconstructed)

CAROLYN DEAN
↓
EL CHAPO
↓
EL MAYO
↓
EL CHURRO
↓
BEIJING
↓
TEHRAN

This assessment will be updated as the threat evolves.

TELL YOUR REP: VOTE NO ON BILL 420